Your day-to-day sucks and you don’t know why. Well, why don’t you try looking at where you’re failing yourself. Not every problem we have is caused by exterior problems. In fact, most of the daily stresses we face are due to self-sabotaging behaviors like setting unrealistic goals or trying to focus on too many things at once. These behaviors generally point to conditioned beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “No one will love me if I don’t do this right!” But that’s for another post.
This piece will point to how we can stop self-sabotage so we can live happier, fuller lives.
Stop Waiting to Correct Self-Sabotage!
The first step to stopping self-sabotage is to recognize how you are sabotaging yourself in the first place. Are you procrastinating your work because you’re “not ready” to take on the workload? Are you staying up every night instead of going to bed at an appropriate hour? Is “just one drink” the lead-in to an entire night of binge-drinking? Are you looking to “start tomorrow” with a fresh outlook? (one that will hardly come – if ever)
You first need to realize that tomorrow is no better than today. It is only when we take a step that anything happens. Whether we decide to take that step today or take it tomorrow does not matter. Action will only happen when you make it happen. Procrastinating at all only keeps good things from coming! You need to recognize where you struggle lies and know that there is absolutely zero reason to wait.
This is more for those who work or live with others. When your daily life has someone around during the majority of it, communicate your struggles to anyone who will support you. By voicing where you are struggling, you can feel like you’re better held-accountable than if trying to change up your schedule yourself.
For many, accountability is a key to success!
Self-Reflect on Your Self-Sabotage
Introspection can solve a myriad of problems in our daily lives but so few take time to do it!. This can be as simple as having lunch by yourself or lying in your car, watching the clouds go by. It doesn’t have to be an entire pre-meditated time set aside for deep meditation!
Self-reflection brings awareness to your own motivations that push you, as well as your desires. By knowing these—and knowing them well—you give yourself more emotional strength to work through underlying stresses that cause self-sabotaging behaviors in the first place. The more aware you are, the more you recognize behavioral changes, the more control you have over your actions! And voila! Self-sabotage is reduced!
Take Baby-Steps Toward Change
This is a biggie. When people hear “take action and change,” they feel an overwhelming weight on their shoulders. Then, recognition of refusal to try hits home and hits hard. As humans, we cannot function if we do not feel capable and to feel capable, we must feel motivated. But motivation sounds hard and we begin the cycle again.
How do we break this cycle? By being compassionate with ourselves and then tossing expectation from self (and others) out the window. Then, take baby steps. Baby steps mean a tiny motion toward what you are working for. It could be waking up five minutes earlier every day. It could be putting aside journaling time to write out what you would like your life to look like. It doesn’t have to be something causing you anguish or anxiety.
Set Goals and Make Plans
Planning is a huge step in bettering our lives. (see this post about The Five Year Plan!) Planning, in fact, relieves stress and anxieties about taking baby steps in the first place! By setting goals and making plans, you are convincing you mind that change is happening. That life is going to get even better for you. Instead of moving forward with a sense of imbalance and uncertainty, plan your way to better successes.
When we realize the self-sabotage we put ourselves through, we can see true change happen. Or at least recognize where the trouble lies in our day to day. Start taking action now to better your life and enjoy your days to the fullest!